Friday, December 23, 2011

Life Hype and Gripe: Christmas Time

Christmas time is always a hard time for me. I miss my parents so much. Christmas just isn't the same without them. When they were living, Christmas was a very big deal and very family oriented. Now, I rarely see my family and I don't see them at Christmas either. I try to get myself into the holiday spirit by listening to Christmas music, watching great Christmas movies, decorating, shopping and wrapping, but nothing seems to work. And then if there's no snow to boot, then it's even worse.

It's just me and my husband and he doesn't like Christmas. Matter of fact, he wraps my presents the very last minute. Usually Christmas Eve night because he has too. I just feel like Christmas is a lot of work for nothing. Having to decorate, Christmas shop, wrap and cook is nothing but work and can be very stressful for me. You spend money you really can't afford to. I really don't receive many gifts, but I do like buying gifts and surprising others. I enjoy gift giving if I can afford it.

Listening to others and reading others happy Christmas comments around me can be very hard for me. I feel like all this Christmas spirit and joy is going on around me, but I don't have it. I feel like it's something I can't have with my family far away, my parents deceased, my husband hating it and money being tight. All that I have that brings me joy is still having Christmas for my son, even though he is grown now. I know he enjoys it. He doesn't get much from others often, so I like to make him feel special at Christmas. It's the one small thing I can do that I enjoy. Also, the love of my sweet little dog Matte also brings joy to me. I try to focus on the good things and not let the rest get me down. At least enough to get me through Christmas without getting too depressed.

Christmas is kind of a life hype and a gripe for me. Both at the same time. I don't like to bring others down with me, so I try to keep most of it bottled up inside, but it doesn't always work. It usually ends up making me feel worse, but again, I don't want to bring others down. It may be hard for me, but I prefer to wish everyone out there a Very Merry Christmas!
Life Quote:
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Calvin Coolidge

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